Today concludes week one of Haiti. It's hard for me to put into words how I feel about everything, so I'm going to just write down the facts ---
I'm on lock down.
At 8am every morning, the driver comes to pick me up for work. The guard opens the gate, sees us out, locks it behind us and spends the day cleaning the house.
View outside my window, i absolutely LOVE the mountains here
So this kills me. I thought to myself those first few days as Milfort drove us through the city that yes, the metal shell around this car is keeping us safe from the chaos that is in the streets, but it is also keeping us from the color, the culture, and the beauty that is Haiti.
Why so strict, you might ask? Let me try to explain how I understand it, after having spoken with several locals I befriended at work or through the roommates.
Haiti has been struggling with economic turmoil and political instability for decades. The people have been let down over and over and over again by the unbelievably corrupt government. For example, the last president was supposedly famous for being a popular singer, and even though he did not have a high school degree, was elected by the people because they thought "at least he already had money and won't steal from our country."
Except after that, every member of his family mysteriously became millionaires. A tad sketchy, perhaps.
Many citizens are in an economic position where they live day by day. In the words of one of my coworkers "they don't have the resources to plan ahead. They don't get the luxury of grocery shopping and saying, next week I'm going to eat this. They have no appliances, lots of them no income, and live life day by day, eating what they can get."
Many people will do anything for money. Including, for example, selling their electoral ballots to corrupt government parties. Apparently for this reason, during the last (democratic) presidential election, the results were completely rigged, and the winning candidate was an obviously unfavorable one.
As a solution, they appointed an interim president, gave him a 3 month time period during which he was supposed to put together another presidential election.
That 3 month term ended a little over a week ago. And nope, no election yet. And the Senate terms apparently ran out too.
So yup, there is no government.
Crime rates are skyrocketing; people are pushing their limits to see how much they can get away with.
It's not surprisingly that society here today is a very distrusting one. People stay within their tight circles. They keep their heads down, go to work, do what their supposed to, and go home. The poor stay with the poor, the rich hide in their mountain top mansions, the expats lock themselves in buildings and cars, everyone is just trying their best to stay alive. One day at a time.
It hurts me. And the more I think about it, the more misty the solution seems to be. "To make a real change," Aurelie (who I recently met) said, "I have to be in politics. But it's so dangerous. For myself, I don't care. But for my family, I cannot put them in danger."
I made some expat friends, and dinner conversation is always that Tulane med student who got shot last week, and that Swedish man who was killed yesterday. 5 bullet holes in the Marriott, 6 in the windows of the cell phone company next door. Oh look Game of Thrones is on, I'll drive you home 2 blocks away after (of course you can't walk you'll get killed). Look the US embassy sent out another reminder - when you get robbed just give them your bag, and don't look at them, because if you look at them they're more likely to kill you.
So right now I live my expat life. It's kind of like I'm stepping out of my comfort zone in the opposite way - instead of being out in an uncomfortable situation, I'm learning how to be completely alone. It's the first time I've been truly confined. It'll be cool to see how much reflection I can do and how many books I can read.
Here are some parts of my life I am allowed to take pictures of:
Yes, this is what expats do
My Sunday breakfast on the patio
My neighborhood, a beauty especially at sunset
One of Kath (my roommate)'s amazing drinks
All this aside though - Haiti is absolutely breathtaking. I love the mountains, the beautiful lightning shows at night with no rain, the colorful taptap busses, the strength of the people (more on this next post) the way the entire city roars after a football win:
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One of those expat friends is the CEO of a microfinancing company here in Haiti. We had dinner tonight, and were talking about him moving on from his CEO position. I asked him what he wanted to do after, he said he didn't know. I said, you should take some time off! You should travel!
He said "well, see, you say that, but I just...don't have the desire to - I've been to many places."
"But not ALL of them," I said, "there are SO many places you haven't gone, like..." I proceeded to listing them (in my excited Jenny travel voice, if you can picture it).
To which he responded, "It's that, after I've seen so much poverty, been to so many of those places, it leaves me with no interest in seeing those beautiful places in the world. Because you stand there and look at the forest, and you know what's on the other side, you know how the people really live out there. This is not the world. The world is not a forest."
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